Audition fails or How NOT to do auditions

Is it time for comedic post yet?

I think so too!

When you're starting at something new, you don't know what you're doing 99% of the time. The other day I looked at my very first auditions from 4 years ago, and I almost fainted. I had a mini-heart attack and I'm too young for that! My very first auditions were taped on my cell phone with a very shitty camera, against the black backdrop (I'm white, so I didn't blend it, thankfully) and my eye lines were all around me: above me, below me, inside the lens. I was breaking the 4th wall all the time! My makeup was too dark, my clothes didn't match the part I was auditioning for and I didn't know my brand. It was crazy! But every time I take a class, or look at someone else's audition, I learn on how to improve.

Here's what NOT to do during auditions:

  1. Don't yell at your dog or cat in the middle of the take. It's not Fluffy's fault that he wants to hump your leg in the middle of your emotional scene. And it certainly is not Dr. Acula's fault that he wants to puke on the floor, right when you have a deeply emotional scene.

  2. Don't blend in with the backdrop. If you're white- don't get a white background. If you're black- don't get a black one. You'll blend in and we won't be able to see you. Blue for comedic, grey for drama. Just don't tape against the green screen!

  3. Don't tape when there's ambulance and police sirens in the background. And certainly don't tape the audition facing the windows that face the front building in which you can see paramedics are carrying someone. Because guess what? The attention will go to them!

  4. Don't be silent if you don't have a reader. It's unalarmingly awkward when you say your line and no one replies back, and then you say your line again. It's worse if you're taping at 3am and hear a child's laughter in the background. And you don't have a child! If you can't find a reader, download "WeAudition" for iPhone. It's an app for actors to use to find a reader for their self-tapes. If you have Android like me, you can ask onInstagram or Facebook groups. Not only you will find a reader, but you will find friends who are trying to become working actor, just like you. Plus it's a good practice :)

  5. Don't break the 4th wall! It's awkward, weird and cringe-y. Unless it's a commercial audition.

  6. Don't tape in the dark! We can't see you and all we would be able to hear is a voice talking to us. Creeeeeeeppyyyyy.

  7. Don't silence your phone. Why would you? Casting director loves hearing buzzing sound and Apple ringtone in the background. It definitely makes your audition hard to forget. That was a joke. Just an FYI. But seriously, silence your phone.

  8. Don't have a quiet reader. Have the one we could be able to hear. Maybe casting director wants to book him/her too.

  9. Don't look up. Or down. Or do a profile. Seriously, don't. Stick to eye lines that are on either side of the camera.

  10. Don't be silent. Meaning, make sure you turn boom mic on, lavalier on and we can actually hear you.

Can you think of anything else?

Add to the comments :)

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